Rob dropped by the house today to talk about doing a project together and while he was here I roped him into letting me take his photo in my makeshift studio. I've got a lot to learn about lighting people with glasses, but a lot more to learn about lighting people with luscious beards.

 

I've always been intrigued by the Proust Questionnaire, but frankly it's a bit boring and isn't quite my style. There's plenty of places to hear about feelings. I want to know about the things that really matter to people today. So I devised my own set of questions for Rob. Let's get to it!

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Which person, alive or dead, would you serve at your fantasy dinner party?

Joan of Arc. Everybody loves a barbecue.

Africa by Toto, or Tusk by Fleetwood Mac?

Africa. Always.

Do you suspect anyone in your circle of friends has either an ASIO file or has their phones tapped?

I’d be shocked and disappointed if this wasn’t the case.

Which is the best musical act with a religious title as part of the act’s name?

Spiritualized.

Did humans domesticate dogs or did dogs domesticate humans?

A bit of both. The interaction between dog and human is one of the most beautiful symbiotic evolutionary relationships in the history of this planet.

When you play Monopoly, do you put the money from fines on the board for people to collect if they land on “Free Parking” like some kind of animal?

Monopoly is, by any measure, a terrible game. It is inelegant, ill-constructed, and eradicates joy and delight. It is both structurally perverse and emotionally unsatisfying. And putting fine money into Free Parking further distorts a thing that is already warped.

Why do people keep books that they have already read, but not cans of drink that they have already drunk?

You can re-read a book, but you can’t re-drink a beverage. Also, I do know people who keep the bottles of rare or special beers and wines as mementos, and I’d say that this is also a reason that people keep books. We hang onto the memory of experience, not just the printed words. A book is as much about how it makes you feel as what is between the pages.

Why didn’t Jai alai ever catch on?

It’s esoteric, difficult to present on radio or television, and the people who have been great at the game were neither white nor native English speakers, so they were easily dismissed by Anglo culture.

You can eradicate one animal from the face of the earth, no questions asked. Which bird is it?

I’m terrible with birds. I can barely, or perhaps rarely, tell one from the other. From the melodic to the atonal and screeching, none of them produce song that I find musically interesting. Birds are the basic bitches of sound. So whichever one wakes me up of a morning.

Which question would you like never to be asked again?

I hope to never tire of questions, both asking and being asked.

Why do AI assistants like Siri always have female-sounding voices by default?

Because we are conditioned to see women as subservient.

Magicians: incredible wizards or used-car salesmen with too many rabbit slaves?

I never met a magician I didn’t find tedious.

When you go through the Star Trek matter transporter does it murder you and just 3D print a new copy at the other end?

This explanation makes the most sense given our current understandings of science.

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 Rob doesn't have a book to promote, a podcast to subscribe to, or social media he wants people to follow. He is however, a lovely chap and if you ever meet him you should buy him a beer and tell him how awful Sloop John B really is. Save Save