Ross Floate

View Original

I'm selling a dishwasher on Gumtree.

Want to buy it?Hot damn this is a dishwasher so small a really cool dog can sit on top of it, but it can still do dishes like a champ. Yeah, its name is Thor, and that means you can probably use it to clean up after a viking feast or something like that or even store infinity stones in it or whatever Thor does in Asgard with things named after him.Did I mention that you can sit it on top of a bench and attach it to your normal tap? You got a sharehouse where someone pulls so many cones that they never do their dishes but you don't have a dishwasher? Thor is there to help you out. You work in an office where Chad never cleans his nonsense novelty mugs at the end of the week? Thor has your back.I don't know how old Thor is, but if you went to buy Thor new, Thor would set you back around $500. In case it helps, Thor is non-binary, gender-fluid, and probably a vegan. Far as I know Thor only eats dishwasher pills, water, and dirty dishes. As a special bonus, when you come and get Thor, you can have a pat of this extremely cool dog. For maybe 5 minutes. That's a sweet deal! Even better, Thor has all the hoses and stuff still and is pretty clean. Might need a bit of a wipe down, but so would you if you'd seen what Thor has seen.You need Thor. Thor needs a new home. This is a match made in Valhalla. Or Thornbury, where you're gonna come pick up Thor and take she/he/it/them to a bright new shining life.