In my previous article, I regret to say that I called the HomePod an “unloveable robot cantaloupe”. This was beneath me, and I apologise.

Here is a list of things I should have considered using instead.

  • irredeemable bucket of blandness
  • dollop of mediocity-cream
  • space-choad of sadness
  • toilet-roll from 2036
  • Chad
  • technological turd in the punch-bowl
  • digital nugget of wombat-shit
  • upturned Donkey-Kong barrel of disappointment
  • fart in a lunchbox
  • Becky with the Beige Hair
  • regrettable mind-vurp
  • bucket of spew wrapped in a sock
  • Vader-themed KFC family bucket (black version only)
  • Skywalker-themed KFC family bucket (beige version only)
  • Marc-Newson for Xenomorph Collection Facehugger Egg
  • Son of Zune

Again, I apologise and will try to do better in the future.

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